The courage of a friend

     This perhaps, to me anyway, will go down as one of the hardest things I’ve written. Often the things I do and think are counted peculiar among my peers. I should say peculiar around my friends at the office; or away from my church. In this context I don’t like using the word “church” because it’s not that . . . they are family to me, close and dear people.

     I digress . . . some would think it odd to ask someone to spy on you; but that’s what accountability is about, keeping you honest, even with yourself. Depending upon the type of accountability different measures have to be taken. But it goes beyond just having someone take a look at your internet surfing practices, for when I slip . . . well slip implies accident; when I head down the wrong path that accountability partner has to be able to call me out on it. Not out of malice or cruelty, but out of concern and love.

     Tonight I had that conversation. I’d like to tell you that it was me helping someone else, but alas I am the one receiving the call. I have had accountability partners in the past, some I was able to avoid, others just didn’t understand the role. It was hard, I tasted adrenaline in the back of my throat, as if I had been caught . . . well I guess in a way I had. It’s funny . . . I realized it was wrong and dealt with it. A week had gone by and I thought all was fine. I had privately made an error and I privately resolved said error. All was well.

     But it wasn’t. I have made this same error time and time again. I’ve fallen by myself and had to lift myself up from the dirt and get back underway. I think I’d done enough of this that I was starting to think there was nothing really wrong. But that too is a foolish path. This time a friend was there . . . again not beating me about the head but pointing out the error. Inquiring about it . . . it was hard to admit that I had made the mistake. What’s the point, the evidence was there . . . so I agreed and stated that I had already moved things into place to not allow this to happen again by this means.

     Talk about uncomfortable; but that’s what it takes. To strip away all the armor we have . . . to be pure and honest with each other. To allow those closest to us to know us for who we really are even at our worst . . . especially at our worst. I know it was hard for him to speak with me, he admitted it was . . . but I thank him for his courage. Never have I been so convicted of how wrong something is. The way I feel now is far different than I did last Sunday (when I had originally swept the error under the rug). This is what it means for “iron sharpens iron”.

     Thank God for friends like this, I don’t have a name for him yet, don’t even know if he reads this. It may seem silly to make such a big deal out of someone pointing out your error . . . and the need for correction; but it is a big deal. It’s fellowship, it’s brotherhood, it’s exactly what Christ calls us to be. Thank you God for the friend, and thank you friend for the courage . . .

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